Archive for March, 2004

N’oublie Pas Que Tu Va Mourir

Tuesday, March 30th, 2004

The order from finally arrived. It was my favorite movie of all times, N’oublie Pas Que Tu Vas Mourir (Don’t Forget You Are Going to Die). I believe it was 1996 when I first saw it. And then on my first trip to Europe, I stumbled upon and bought the soundtrack CD in Brussels. Apparently it was the CD that I listened to over and over again on my trip (and for years after). The music is composed by John Cale, the movie is directed by Xavier Beauvois, who also acted brilliantly in the movie. When I first saw it I was moved by it, and then the whole soundtrack-all-over-the-trip thing got me hooked to the emotions of the movie even more. It’s wonderful to watch it again, to read and understand more from it, and I could gladly say that I got more out of it than in 1996.

Deal Time

Tuesday, March 30th, 2004

It’s about time to really deal with it. Dad called a few times this morning. He said his “heart harddened”. I was just way to afraid to respond. I even deleted the last message before I finished it. I guess I will let myself freak out for a couple of days before I act on it. I don’t think I can handle it right now. O. reminded me that I should let him know that I am incapable of handling it right now. So I guess I will send him an email for now until I talk to J. I don’t know how to handle it, really.


Saturday, March 27th, 2004

So what’s up with me? I have been baking a lot lately—sounds more like a newfound hobby than anything else. I made my first cake ever—flourless chocolate cake—it’s kick-ass. And also tons of cookies. The picture on the right shows part of the 6 dozens oatmeal-raisin cookies I just made this morning. We are going to be overweight in a few weeks, for sure. It’s a dangerous “hobby”, I’d say.

Bubble Tummy

Wednesday, March 24th, 2004

Oh boy, stomach flu again (at least that’s what M. and I thought). Last night my stomach was so bloated, it was hard and big just like a blown-up balloon almost bursting. My stomach was growling like crazy. It was so painful too, I could hard bend over. I felt like I am pregnant. I joked about asking the doctor, “Hey doc, can I get an ultrasound? I want to know whether it’s a boy or a girl!” At around four a.m., I woke up in pain. I felt like I have an infant alien inside my body ready to burst out. Oh, and I was farting non-stop until I could fall back to sleep.


Wednesday, March 24th, 2004

So I didn’t have any stamp last night, which means I couldn’t send it. M. took the letter and put it the mailbox for me. I was very afraid. I almost resisted him from mailing it. But this is something that I really have to do. I think my mind will just go crazy in five business days: starting from next Tuesday, I will go nuts. God help me.

I Did It.

Tuesday, March 23rd, 2004

March 23rd, 2004. 6.41pm. I did it. I finally did it. The letter has been written.

Break Through

Tuesday, March 23rd, 2004

J. helped me to attain a break-through today. I realized that I don’t need to write a very, very long and elaborated letter, I don’t need to edit it, and I don’t need to handwrite it perfectly; all I need to say can be said in five sentences. I may as well put them in card or a Post-It. The “perfection” I strived for is a sign of distraction and blockage. I felt a sudden umph. Let’s make it happen this time.

B (Secret Revealed)

Monday, March 22nd, 2004

So I made my first book (pamphlet, rather) for L. as a birthday gift. She was stunned, and I am glad that she appreciated it so much. I signed it as “1/SE”. Here is a glimpse of the pamphlet.

Not a Very Pleasant Weekend

Monday, March 22nd, 2004

M. and I have been so sick this past weekend. This is the first time we got sick together and weren’t able to take care of each other very well. We both had an upset stomach and nausea. Both our stomachs felt bloated, we had no appetite, were tired and puked. It was all liquid that I threw up since I haven’t (couldn’t) eaten anything the whole day. M. got up in the middle of the night and puked. It was horrifying. I was so exhausted and lack of energy that I could barely stood up and spoke. I was so hungry and effortless. I assured myself that when I get up in the morning I would make myself a bowl of oatmeal and a glass of oj (or perhaps I should make egg whites). I was too afraid to jinx it so I couldn;t told M.In fact, I was also way too effortless to speak. Then I fell back to sleep and dreamed about driving in the rocky moutains and deserts in NM, and got lost.

So this morning I made myself a bowl of cinnamon-raisin oatmeal and served myself a glass of oj. I am still feeling pretty trashed and defeated.

The night before we went to the surprise party for L’s upcoming birthday. We suspected the food there got us sick, but it seemed that most people were fine. So where did the bug come from?

Labor of Gadgets

Friday, March 19th, 2004

Every morning once I arrive my desk in the office, I have to unload my bag. I have so much to unload that it’s getting ridiculous: laptop, adapter for the laptop, PDA, iPod, B&O earphopnes, cellphone, bluetooth earpiece for the headphone. Not to mention my keys, the snack bag, candies and chewing gum. Then my bag becomes completely empty — except the paperback I read on the train.